Sunday Mania – The Feels

So I’m sitting here watching Wrestlemania alone. I knew I was going to, everyone is way too tired to do anything and you know what, I kinda am as well so I don’t care. I can enjoy my house by myself since I’m alone tonight and I can chill. It’s good to be alone sometimes. But not all the time.

I’m actually quite enjoying this year’s stuff. I wish Sting won though. Shawn Michaels, you pretty older man, stop messing with the wrestlers. It was cool to see nWo and Hulk and all of DX again and for them to all be civil like. Even all the old guys coming out to congratulate Daniel Bryan was pretty awesome too, with all the one liners who were past Intercontinental Champs. I wish I could have gone to Mania and had this experience. But I’d only want to go if I was sitting close. I’m not paying that money to see specks of dust float in front of my eyes from that high up in a stadium.

The halftime show if you want to call it that could have used some work. Really? You could only get Skylar Grey or whoever she is? You can’t get Kid Rock again or something better? I mean Travis Barker was a good choice… but ya’ll need something better I think. This would have been my time to go pee and get food at this point because I’m kind of bored listening on TV lol.

You know, I think I would be a wonderful Diva for the WWE. I can be a bad-ass hardcore woman and I know I can pull off the cuteness kind of. Mix AJ‘s craziness with Paige‘s looks… I got this. Does anyone know if there’s anyone names Ravyn in WWE, lol. I’d go hand in hand with Sting and we’d be badass… Hey, a girl ca dream can’t she? Maybe one day. I’m already almost 25. No better time to start than 2015 before I turn a quarter century year old right? #letsdothis

So then The Rock showed up… and 76,000 people’s eyes lit up and I’m like well then.. who DOESN’T like The Rock?? You have to be dumb if you don’t like him and Stone Cold Steve Austin. “Okay, we get it, you’re happy to see him, can we be quiet now?” Gee Stephanie, you’re quite the bitch tonight, lol. But you’re still hot so it’s okay. Just stop doing stupid stuff and actually do “what’s best for business.” “You can either go back there and dress like Terminator again… or we can create a Wrestlemania moment right now, right here.” This guy is probably one of my favorites ever in WWE even though he doesn’t show often. I wish he came back for more than just major things. I really hope they bring out some girl to fight Stephanie because she’s a bitch and it’s kind of awesome. I wish The Rock would fight her…. that’d be awesome. Or bring out Stone Cold, because why the hell not? I mean, I guess a UFC fighter would do you know. She can take her ass down no problem. Staged, obviously, but still. More badass then WWE. “She gonna play jumprope with your fallopian tubes.” 

Undertaker is back, which makes me happy. Even though the streak was ended… that doesn’t matter. Bray Wyatt is pretty nifty too though. His stage show is just awesome, too bad it’s not dark there for it though. It needs to be dark in the stadium for the  candle light. It’s too early in the day for his awesomeness. He looks pretty damn good for his age and size, and definitely better than last year. He’s a huge man, lol, I’d never want to meet him in person because I’d be a midget and probably run and hide. True story. He looks super fit right now and has hair; but I’d never be able to wrestle in jeans like he does. Alright this match is taking too long, as much as I love him. But hey, he won so that’s all that matters. Looks like he hurt himself too with that head bop, ouch.

The only thing we have left now is Roman Reigns, and DAMN, is he sexy too. I could care less about Brock… he’s a sissy anyway and quit MMA also. Get some eyebrows man, you’re really starting to scare the children. Why would you say “I respect no one?” How rude can you be? Check yourself, before you wreck yourself bro.

Well anyway, it was a good show. I wish CM Punk came back… that would have been the best part if they brought him out just well, just because. I miss him. He was always such a good mic person and knew how to piss off the crowd.

It’s getting late and I need nappy time. It’s been a long weekend. Long… but good actually starting from Friday night.





Give Me These Moments Back

It’s about 10PM on a Thursday night. I’m sitting on the couch on my laptop for once updating it finally and I have nothing to do. I have racked my brain for this entire week with job applications, interviews, and other things, and I need a break. I think my brain may explode if I do anything else today. I haven’t been able to sleep much recently either. I’m exhausted, but can’t fall asleep. Strange thing, you know, life? People float in and out of your life at the most random times and tonight, I’m seeing alot of that from everyone I associate with. One night they’re there to talk to, and open up to me, and the next they completely disappear for hours on end and don’t say a word. Well, my days go on and on without you here my dear.

Sometimes, I feel like just taking a bow and leaving everything behind and running away. Only sometimes though. Just me and the kitties and whatever money I have left and leaving or selling everything I own for more cash… and just going. It seems like a valuable option because at this point, I’m not sure what to do anymore. I don’t think I have much left here except a few people that I’d like to be around for a long time to come. And I highly doubt the one person I want to come with me will… but I’m not sure. I haven’t asked, but I’m certain the answer would be no or “good luck” and that’s it. I’m afraid to ask, even though I know we would want to.

I’m really starting to be bummed out about all this shit going on lately. My mind’s on overdrive right now and I’m not sure what to do anymore. Half of me is like eff this I’ll go home, and the other half, if not more, is like hell no, you need to do this the right way and not give up. Well, I’m almost at the point of giving up… and I hate to say that because I’ll be letting alot of people down including myself. I just hope I find a job I like soon. So far, there is nothing, and I can’t afford to live in the city with what I really am good at… Social Media or photography. There are jobs all OVER the place in places such as Dallas and NYC and California… but I can’t just up and leave and go… as much much much as I would. I really would.

I’m listening to Greg Laswell on my phone and man, do I love him. I owe that to Jim and a big thank you to him for introducing me to his music. While it’s sad and depressing it kind of makes me smile when I listen to him too. It’s odd, but I’m not complaining. There’s a quote at the bottom of this of mixed lyrics from him that mean something to me. I’ve been listening to him all night now and I can’t stop. They’re like the new Poets of The Fall for me, and that’s saying something because POTF is my favorite band still to this day and I get laughed at it sometimes for it.

I know this blog is really scatterbrained tonight, but that’s how my mind is alot of the time and I don’t even know how I deal with it sometimes, let alone other people and my close friends. I don’t know how I’m even enjoyable sometimes, to be honest. I’ve been so shitty lately and sad and miserable because of the stupidest things.. and I hate myself for it. Maybe I need to just get up and start one day like it’s going to be the best day ever and see what happens. I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired. The people I want to be with, don’t want to be with me, and the one I don’t want to be with want’s to be with me. How ironic? I’m not really sure  what to make of anything anymore. I’m so frustrated, and so overwhelmed by everything these days and so stressed out, and I know I really shouldn’t be. I wish I were happier all the time like some people I know around here. Maybe I do need to move and leave everything. Maybe I just need a fresh start. Be farther away from family because well, apparently, I’m not thought of much and when I am, the only people who still seem to care are Poppop and my mom so it would seem. Two is better than none, I’d say though.


I might be gone a little while. I guess we’ll see. I have to make a home out of something… I should probably say that I’m unsure why I’m running away from the one thing that I love. Maybe down the road, I’ll see you in a blur.



||Koral Dawn||


Summertime Sadness

“You know that he doesn’t love you, right? He does not love you. He does not think about your eyes before bed. And he does not pick up the phone in attempt to dial your number. He doesn’t dream about your hands in his hair or the way your cheek grazes his. He doesn’t care about your mother and he never will. He doesn’t want to learn from you and he certainly doesn’t want to teach you. He will play with you as he has and he will use you for his pleasure. He will use your body and your advice, he will use your humor when he is lonely, he will use your essence as a crutch. He will never love you. He will not respect you. He will never be sorry for what he has done or what you’ve experienced. He will never strive to be like you and he will never be your hero. His voice will always tower over yours. He will always have the last word. He will never care about your needs, no matter how big or small. He will always blame you. So remember when you’re broken, remember when you’re tired and shattered all around the room, that he does not love you and if he did he would be walking through that door to pick up the shards of your heart, bloody fingers and all.”

It’s Monday morning, and I’m sitting here applying to jobs and oddly enough, came across this quote and it totally makes sense to me. I think a lot of people should read this and listen to what it’s saying, it might just change your life. It didn’t for me, however, but for some of you out there struggling with something like this, take note of these words.

I know a few people going through something like this right now and it breaks my heart sometimes to hear all the shitty boys out there that keep doing this to females. Liars, cheaters, boys that play with emotions. I mean hell, just going on Facebook I see a lot of this and I’m about to go and just delete people because I don’t need anymore of this crap in my life with everything that’s going on with myself.

Why can’t everyone be truthful to who they really are and stop the lying and telling people what they want to hear? Maybe someday society will learn, but that day is not today. There are always going to be liars and humans like this – it’s who we are as a human race. And it’s best to stay away from these types of people if you can help it.




||Koral Dawn||