It’s Been A While

Yes, it has.

First off I’d like to say I’m sorry to those who actually follow my blog. I had this typed out already and never published it which is of course how I roll because I’m always skeptical when posting for some reason.

When opening the new editor, it gives me this little “beep beep boop” message in which little tiny robots are working backstage to help create this post for me and that little statement there amuses me and kind of just made my night.

I’ve been really sick lately, not moving really from bed and feeling like crap. There are a few stories in my head that I want to get on paper, but here is not the place for them really because people will take it the wrong way or assume something wrong and I’m really not in the mood for others to judge me or anything. It’s nothing bad. But I feel there are some things that need to stay private for reasons.

I’ve been sluggish, I’ve been sick and I have a cough now for like 2 months that won’t go away. I’m sitting here listening to Poets of The Fall and their newest CD that came out on my birthday is simply amazing. I have my huge headphones on and its so quiet and all I hear is their music in my head and this makes me happy. It makes me forget about everything for awhile and I can actually sit comfortably and sleep sometimes.

I also haven’t been sleeping that well either. I sit mostly and stare at the ceiling and think. Think about what to do with my free time. I’ve become lazy and boring and I just want to sit at my computer most days and just stare at it. I need something to motivate me to do other things. Something or someone. I want to stop being lazy but I guess I’m just too… “blah” to really want to do anything. Can anyone help with this? Does anyone have any ideas? I’m open to anything really at this point.

On a happier note, I get to go home for Christmas and have a nice dinner with the family for once. It’s really the only time I do. That and my birthday. I’m hoping to leave for 12pm on Christmas Eve and go right to dinner since I’ll just make it.. but hey it’s something right? I hate how this work thing operates. Not really into this whole PTO thing either. It’s making my life a hassle because I live far away. Not to mention people don’t answer their emails… now that our best Supervisor isn’t with us, things are getting blown off and I’m not liking it. I understand there’s work that needs to be caught up with and started on and her duties taken care of but… this is ridiculous. It’s been a week now and one of my emails still hasn’t been replied to. Our old Sup used to be so on top of things answering like within a few hours. And now I’m waiting days.. yet others are answered right away because they’re more buddy buddy with them? It just gets a tad annoying. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

I got to see Slipknot again, which is awesome. Even though it was alone and people suck… I still had a good time. Mosh pit wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be and it was a little disappointing to see at a venue that doesn’t ban them at all. There were alot of older people in the crowd and I think that might be the reason. But nonetheless, Korn was awesome too. I’ve seen both of them multiple times and they never get old. Definitely worth the trip there and back myself in the bad weather I think. I just need to see Motionless in March and then I’ll be alright. Everyone I know went to see HIM and MIW last night by my mom and I couldn’t go because I had to work today and wouldn’t make it back in time I don;t think. Alot of people went to see Attila tonight in Philly and it was sold out; surprisingly. I wish I could see them again. But I’m also broke.. so I can’t really do anything right now.

Anyway. Life rant over. I think I need to sleep. I feel like crap and want to feel better.. I don’t know how long it will be until I am completely better. I think I need a change in scenery and job and everything. Not sure… But I need something.